I was arrested in my house by four cops. Probably for publically calling for someone important to have the shit slapped out of them. Classic Esbe. One of them twirled a pair of handcuffs on his finger, gesturing "come and get it." What a douchebag.

Now I live on an offworld penal colony, and it's not quite what I expected. Apps, instead of guards, mediate my life. Disobedience might get my account suspended for violating the terms of service and there goes lunch until I get my prisoner profile reinstated.

Shortly into my stay I'm expected to carry out my sentence. "It's no big deal", a woman sitting at my table tells me, "you just go through with it, and later you'll wake up back here."

The self-service DeepFreez™ kiosk has a maddening user interface, and I struggle to use it after crawling in. There's too many parts, and the audio instructions proceed faster than I can follow, the U.I. desyncs, or it halts altogether.

The opposite end of the hall starts to fill with more prisoners, and a riot ensues while I'm still inside my half-open suspended animation cubby, trying to troubleshoot my own goddamn prison sentence through an F.A.Q. that opens in a web browser. I think I see douchebag cop get a makeshift club to the face, which I appreciate, silently, so I'm not suspended for targeted harassment.

Thankfully they ignore me as I go about my business, cryogenically freezing myself in accordance with my sentence. I'm just trying to be a good citizen, you know.