What it's like to bed me:
A sexy aphorism
Read to the cadence "Red sky at night, sailor's delight"
Orgasm one, a drop of cum
Two through twenty, cum aplenty
What it's like to bed me:
A sexy aphorism
Read to the cadence "Red sky at night, sailor's delight"
Orgasm one, a drop of cum
Two through twenty, cum aplenty
So you know what, I do find it super romantic for trans fems to shout music theory lessons at me, as a form of flirting, over the noise of a live band. Putting that on record, in case the opportunity ever arises again.
There's a straight line to be drawn from John Coulton crooning Baby Got Back in 2005, to female singers belting vocal-forward covers of Smells Like Teen Spirit, to a woman in clown makeup stripping on stage to one of those covers tonight. Much to study there.
Every time you mis-capitalize a tech brand's name (Huffpost, Buzzfeed, Github, Yahoo without the "!") their CEO loses a day of their life, which you gain.
I just extended my life by 4 days with this post, and you can too.
any web engineer running with js on by default, at this point in the lifecycle of the web, feels very "coke dealer using their own supply" to me
Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad
Charisma is just going ahead and putting it in a fruit salad anyway because it pairs pretty well with a lot of flavors, and can you seriously imagine getting personally defensive about other people's salads, Vivien
Color Out of Space (2019), or as I like to call it, "Signs, except I liked it a lot instead of hating every second of it, which was the case with Signs, mostly because of Mel Gibson"
Color Out of Space (2019), or as I like to call it, "Signs, except the lurking horror is Half-Life Xen skyboxes"
One weird aspect of rewatching media from 1991-1993 is seeing all the merciless takedowns of the Hubble Space Telescope. Whole lot of cable TV writers were banking on getting in on the ground floor of a timeless recurring joke.
Something shady is up when Uber is considered a "tech" company, but AT&T and General Electric—a telco and a company that makes literal actual nuclear reactors—are not.
What the fuck is "tech", then.
Taking the oath of office with my hand on an iPad opened to vgcats.com
I emphatically support an internet and a world that's abundant with porn and safe for sex workers. ❤️
I mock people who put "the Oxford comma" on their dating profiles under their Can't Live Without section like it's a personality trait, but my dumb ass also went ahead and put "likes regular expressions" on my website bio, so I don't even know.
Best 2-character emoticon is :?
hands down.
Contrary to the popular protest chant, I will never allow any NYPD or their bootlickers to suck my dick.
Wow, can't believe protestors really torched the White House, President Trump ran out on the lawn with a tiny fire on his butt, followed by 7 Secret Service agents trying to pat it out, then they ran in circles frantically slapping Trump's ass while he cried like a toddler for like 20 minutes.
We're truly living through history rn 👩🏻🍳💋
Quarantine day 69, nice—😢 oh god 😭 oh god, what the fuck, help 😭 😭
frost giants are the best dressed characters in neverwinter nights. The helmet, the shorts, the single pauldron. top shelf adventuring garb, and sexy too.
High Level Overview of Personality Types
In the interest of brevity, this overview skips other "low tier" personality types, which are not worth discussing
👺 👺 ⛅️ 👺 💢😭💢 🔚 🌼 ╳ 🦖🥚🥚🥚🥚🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷
I don't know if, or when, • I'll wake up one day and realize • that winter stopped coming
so I will take stock of my memories, • keep them close, and strong, • exercise them daily:
blizzards, icicles, snow days, • stacking wood, shoveling, • sharing hot cocoa with you
John Anster Fitzgerald, English, 1819-1906, says "Fairy Hordes Attacking a Bat, c. 1860s"?
I say, "RUDE, 🙅🏻♀️ eff that!" THIS fairy 👉🧚♀️ loves and supports 💛 bats always. 🦇 💯
We'll wait until dusk when the frost brige appears
and for a scant few minutes the secret treasure behind the waterfall is revealed.
The phrase "thick as thieves", of course, traces its origin back to the cannibal witches of Eod'dnh, famously known for devouring trespassers, whose bones they prized for the "rich bounty of collagen" they lent to stews and stocks. 🥕 🍖 🍲
Minor Twitter celeb: follow, get lost in the noise
Personal friend with healthy meatspace rapport: should I? follow?? seems highly invasive. these are their personal thoughts, not entertainment to consume. they're not a product. Is this dehumanization?? it's PRESUMPTUOUS, is wha
i need you
to be cute boy
arounbd, me 🌿
*digging through piles of flannel and denim shirts, tears streaming down my face*
"I'm… I'm not femme?! H-h-how??"
†Post should be read with strong Slowly Putting Together The Clues That You're A Werewolf energy.
The Hills Have Eyes and they finally worked up the courage to learn to do their own makeup and started experimenting with smoky looks and it's Actually Really Working For Them (2019)
Anyway, I think it's time we finally taught antifa a lesson (that we recognize their use of violence in response to the threat of fascism as appropriate, effective, and inspiring) and give them "what they deserve" (the abolition of police, prisons, and border cops; and a world free of fascists).
Sexting, but you're sending each other pix of trees you really like 🌿
The best part of reading Space Battle Lunchtime is, of course, doing the voices and being silly and oh my god how is this book the thing that makes me want to read to a kid, like maybe a kid who's mine? :o
help
Yeah, I'm "gay"
Gay
gAy
gaY
Sometimes I think about the types of people who list the Oxford comma as a personality trait in their dating profiles, and like what's going on in your lives friends?
Tired: They don't love you like I love you
Wired: The varied ways in which we love you strengthen your support network in your times of need
Re: the Tumblr thing. So-called "adult content" is de facto unmonetizable by major media companies.
As in every NSFW page costs them $$$ because advertisers refuse to pay to be shown next to content that "doesn't align with [their] brand's values."
I'll never not blame for-profit social networks for putting money before their users, but you can't run a site like Tumblr's at their scale without revenue. And it was Dial Soap or some shit that decided that advertising next to a titty was too risky, but white nationalism is still on-brand. Why is nobody framing that in their edgy thinkpieces.
Tangential: remember when Nike or whatever rolls out it's next Woke Ad Campaign, we still have to pay attention to what they pay to appear next to, and what they don't.
The Favourite, but all of the earrings are vibrant '80s statement pieces.
It's wild that for Certain People on dating sites, after tweaking your profile to select for the people who won't
you're left with absurdly high percent matches just as a baseline for tolerating being in the same room. So like, a 97% match, gosh isn't 🚩 that 🚩 kinda 🚩 low? 🚩
Karaoke thoughts…
The statement "I miss the human internet with an intensity that borders on homesickness" resonates with me enough to shake me apart.
Short of siezing their domain names, there absolutely nothing in the world that a 3rd party can do to make the tech giants respect the privacy of their users.
No matter what they're "forced" to do, they just… won't. And we won't know untill the next breach that proves it.
Person: "The way you're eating that candy cane… well, everyone looks good sucking candy canes, so there's no wrong way to eat it… but it's really ~working~ for you."
My brain, struggling to understand flirting: "wow, this person knows a whole lot about candy canes!"
You ever think about your own mortality?
Like, what if I just died tonight while my internet was down, and there were unfixed CSS errors on my site?
"You have a really good voice pitch for cutting through a mumbling audience" is such a super niche compliment that only a trans fem person would think to say to another, and I'm wildly here for it, thank you.
Me invited to a facebook sponsored happy hour: FB is a literal force for evil in the world and I'll have no part in this.
Also me: if FB is going to be a bad influence on my life anyway, it may as well start with being a bad influence on my liver.